An Email from 2005

This is an email I wrote to friends and family after my trip to Rwanda in April of '05.

April 25, 2005:

When I was twelve I thought my world had fallen apart. I remember crying on my bed and thinking about what was going to happen to me nowthat I had moved to a new State, a new house, a new school and church.I grieved because life as I knew it had disappeared and I was facing anew world. Yesterday, I met a girl my age. At twelve she too facedunfortunate circumstances. Her world had been rocked as well and lifeas she knew had drastically changed. At twelve years old, as I wasdealing with awkward Jr. Highness and a new town, my friend witnessedher entire family be killed with Machettes and hammers and guns by herneighbors of a different tribe. Her world was turned upside down and attwelve she grieved the loss of her parents and extended family. Shefaced a historical genocide within her country that would affect thenation of Rwanda for years and years to come.As you may have guest it I am writing you from the country of Rwanda.

If I ever disappear from society, chances are you?ll find me here.Rwanda is called the ?land of a thousand hills? This statement is verytrue, but what it doesn?t tell you in addition is that it is the landof muddy waterfalls, red tiled roofed houses, steep terraced farm land,volcanic mountains in the distance and the most beautiful scenery I canhonestly say I have ever seen. While Rwanda is truly the most beautiful place I have ever been the aftermath of the tragic genocide that swept the country is still an open wound that has not yet healed.

Five of us traveled to this country with two single women from the Mbarara Missionteam in Uganda. We traveled to view some of the sites where over800,000 people were killed in 100 days. During the genocide of 1960 the Tutsi tribe of Rwanda took refuge intheir local churches. During the genocide of 1994, people flocked to churches once more to escape the fearful killings of their opposing people group. Sadly, they found no safety. In order to save their ownlives many of the priests and caretakers exposed the secret of thosetaking refuge.

On Saturday, we visited two churches that hosted themassacres of 1994. The first site we visited was the most terrifying tome. In April of 1994 the church was ransacked. Hundreds of people werehiding inside the building and only a handful survived. We walked intothe church building and found about 4 bookcases of skulls displayed. The floor of the church was still covered in bones, and clothes andbooks and other household items that the refugees had brought with themas they hid from the massacre. We had to walk on the pews to avoidstepping on bone. We met a man at the church who was there that fatefulnight. He went to that church with his family of 12. He was the only one to survive. He showed us a scar on his head where a man hit him with a hammer. When he was hit her fell to the floor of the church andwas covered with falling bodies. Everyone thought he was dead so he wasnot harmed anymore. After everything settled he worked his way out fromunder the bodies and walked down to the river to hide in the papyrusreeds. He hid there for 1 month. He ate raw potatoes and waited forhelp. When the soldiers found him he was afraid they were going to killhim, but they gave him clothes and food and a place to sleep. Lorie Earles, one of the Ugandan missionaries asked this man if he hadbeen able to forgive those who harmed him. He said it has beendifficult, but many people have come to him and asked for forgiveness.He said he has forgiven them.

The question I ask myself is not Why them? Why could this happen to theworld? Why is there so much evil here? The question I ask is, Why notme? What does one do with the fact that I am so free? I know pain likethis occurs, and that there is a lot of evil in the world. I displaysides of that evil everyday with my own selfishness. I?ve come to theconclusion that when one witnesses sites such as these it?s not reallypossible to find a good explanation. I think I would be a mess if Itried to explain pain away. I can only be thankful for the lot cast tome. I am thankful for the peace I have known in my country, I amthankful for the peace in Kenya and that my students do not have tolive with fear. Tribalism is not a serious issue here and for that I amso thankful.

I can also be thankful that I have never been afraid formy life. I know the fear and pain of losing a loved one. I know thequestions that come with that and the anger and loneliness of grieving.There is something about visiting Rwanda that opens my grieving eyes toa new perspective.The phrase ?To much who has been given, much is expected.? I or we havebeen given so much. We know peace. We know salvation. We know wealth.We know joy. We know love. We know safety. We know Jesus. Wow, we knowa lot. Of course there are things we don?t know about life. Things thatwould make us better people. And all the things that have been given tous don?t make us any higher than anyone on earth, but we cannot beaware of those under oppression and ignore them. I asked an Americanwoman who had been in Rwanda during the genocide what we could do tohelp people under these circumstances. She said one of the best thingswe can do is be aware and let our senators know that we are concernedfor these countries.

While in Gisenyi we were able to enjoy the company of about 100 orphanswho live in an orphanage in this town. The orphanage was started by anAmerican woman who has lived in Rwanda most of her life. She and herhusband lived in Rwanda during the colonial times after she divorcedher husband she developed a large plantation near the Congo border.During the genocide she was forced to leave her farm and return toAmerica. She witnessed the genocide from her television and vowed toreturn to her beloved Rwanda to help some of the newly orphanedchildren. The orphanage is a wonderful place and I am so thankful thatwe were able to see such a redemptive place.

Much Love!!Amanda